Financial Jokes, Money Jokes and Funny Stories

Financial jokes, money jokes and funny stories always make me laugh! What about you?

These pages will be updated regularly with money jokes and stories I find.  If you know any new money jokes or have a funny story to share, please do - click here to submit your joke or story.

Financial Jokes on the Stock Market

This one came across my email - so thank you to whoever wrote it!

Investment tips for 2008

With all the turmoil in the market today and the collapse of Lehman Bros and Acquisition of Merrill Lynch by Bank of America this might be some good advice. For all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks.

Watch for these consolidations in later this year:

1.) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W R. Grace Co. Will merge and become:

Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.

2.) Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become:

Poly, Warner Cracker.

3.) 3M will merge with Goodyear and become:

MMM Good.

4.) Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become:

ZipAudiDoDa .

5.) FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become:

FedUP.

6.) Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become:

Fairwell Honeychild.

7.) Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become:

Poupon Pants.

8.) Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become:

Knott NOW!

And finally ...

9.) Victoria 's Secret and Smith &Wesson will merge under the new name:

Titty Titty Bang Bang

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Financial Jokes on Getting Rich

"Can I borrow that book of yours How To Become A Millionaire?"

"Sure. Here you are."

"Thanks - but half the pages are missing."

"What's the matter? Isn't half a million enough for you?"

Johnny wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write a letter to God requesting the $100.

When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, USA, they decided to send it to President Bush. The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send Johnny a $5.00 bill, as this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.

Johnny was delighted with the $5.00, and sat down to write a thank-you note to God. It said: Dear God, Thank you very much for sending me the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington, DC and as usual, those jerks deducted $95.

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Financial Jokes on Paying Taxes

Dear IRS*: I'm sending you this money because I cheated on my income tax and my conscience has been bothering me. If it doesn't stop, I'll send you the rest. Do you have any great jokes about money, or money and relationships?

*for those of you not in the USA - substitute your countries tax department :-)

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